Staying Safe

You may not be ready to leave yet, or leaving may not feel safe right now. That is completely understandable. You know your situation better than anyone. What matters is that you are here, reading this and that is already a huge step.

There are things you can do today to start reducing risk, even before you are ready to go.

Tell someone you trust
The most important thing you can do is tell someone what is happening. That might be a friend, a family member, a colleague… someone you feel safe with. 

This can feel daunting and anxiety-inducing, and may mean speaking about your situation out loud for the first time. But your safety is the priority, and safely leaving who is controlling and harming you is often difficult without support. You don’t have to share everything at once. Even saying “things aren’t right at home” is a start.

If you’re not sure who to tell, or if you don’t feel you have anyone, please contact us. That’s what we’re here for.

Make a safety plan
A safety plan is a practical set of steps which help you think through what you would do in an emergency, before you are in one. Having a plan can make a frightening situation feel more manageable. 

Your safety plan is tailored to you and it might include:

• Knowing how to call for help. In an emergency, call 999. If you can’t speak, cough or tap the handset, then press 55. The police will know it’s an emergency. If you have children, teach them how to call 999 and ask for help.
• Identifying the safest rooms in your home. Rooms that have an exit, or that can be locked from the inside. If an argument is escalating, try to move towards those spaces and away from kitchens or garages where there may be potential weapons.
• An emergency signal or code word. Agree a word or phrase with someone you trust that means “I need help.” For example, texting a friend the word “Milk” could mean “call 999, I’m in danger.”
• A safe place to go. Identify somewhere you could go quickly if you needed to leave in a hurry: a trusted friend, family member, or contact us about refuge options.
• Emergency money. Keep a small amount of cash somewhere accessible, in case you need to use public transport or a payphone without warning.
• A second phone. If you can, consider keeping a pay-as-you-go phone hidden somewhere safe, so you can reach out for help even if your main phone is being monitored.
• Key documents and essentials. Think about where your passport, birth certificates, and any important financial paperwork are kept. If it is safe to do so, make copies and leave them with someone you trust, or at work.
• Important phone numbers. Memorise the numbers that matter: a trusted person, our helpline (0800 917 9948), and the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0800 2000 247). If your phone is taken or monitored, you’ll still be able to reach help.
• Letting a trusted neighbour know what is happening, if that feels safe. Ask them to call 999 if they hear something concerning.

We can help you build a safety plan that is right for your circumstances. Call our helpline to talk it through with one of our team.

The period around leaving can carry a much higher risk of harm, so planning ahead makes a real difference, and we can help you with that so please get in touch with us.

Where possible, try to leave when your abusive partner or relative is out and has been gone for some time. If you have children, take them with you. Bring any medication, important documents like passports, birth certificates, financial records, and anything irreplaceable and very sentimental to you. If you can prepare a bag in advance and keep it with someone you trust, that should help you a lot too.

Before you go, turn off location sharing on your phone and check for any unfamiliar apps that could be tracking you. Let your children’s school know, (you don’t need to go into detail) so they can keep an eye out.

You don’t have to have everything sorted before you reach out to us. We can help you think through your options, find somewhere safe to go, and plan your next steps before, during, or after you leave. It’s what we’re here for.

Leaving is an act of real courage, but the risk doesn’t always disappear straight away, and the emotional impact can take time to settle. Both of those things are completely normal.

In the early weeks, it’s worth changing your locks, updating your passwords, and reviewing the privacy settings on your social media accounts. Keep a record of any unwanted contact like messages, calls, and incidents, as this can be important if you need legal protection later. Non-molestation orders and other legal tools are available to help keep you safe, and our team can point you towards the right advice.

Beyond the practical, we’re also here for the harder, quieter work of rebuilding. That may feel impossible to imagine right now, but we want you to know that it is. Many people we support go on to rebuild lives they genuinely love, and we can walk alongside you for as much of that journey as you need.